Sometimes, I have so much to say that I don't know where to begin. As I say that, I realize this applies to many things in my life. Somehow life has become very cluttered. Being sick and having multiple surgeries has made for a messy house and a cluttered one at that. Did you ever notice, with every activity one does it all creates it's own clutter. This may sound crazy for an artist to say. Aren't we the creative ones that can find a solution to every little problem? Especially when it comes to being organized and keeping track of things? I was, I really was very organized, everything had it's place.
I guess the secret is to write that statement and let it flow. Just as with painting, I grab the brush and load with a color and let it go. The secret to artistry in my book, is being able to let it flow!! Take a chance, step out with a few words or a few colors
AND GO FOR IT. But to do so means to ignore the piles of clutter everywhere. I was the type that had a really clean car, but when I was sick that all went out the window.
How many different forms of clutter can one person have? It's actually embarrassing to be such a mess. So I am confronting it head on. I have fallen behind at least 2 years in every area. Can you imagine? I hope to at least remedy my car today. My list of things to do and events to go to is so over loaded it's actually insane. The clutter keeps me chained down like a dog with a short rope unable to reach the dog dish for food. But my creative mind does not care, she wants to be free to paint, to sew, to color, to play with clay, to listen to music, to hang out with friends, to play with my dogs and take them for walks, to have a clean house and a clean car even if it is only in my mind, so I can write, so I can paint, so I can research the crap out of every word my doctor's say, so I will know, what it all means. And yet, here I am confessing to the world what a mess I am. Just open my Mondrian door and see into this cluttered mind.
Here is the real dilemma...
Can I ignore the laundry baskets of clean clothes longing to be put away? (yes) Can I ignore the mail, that sits unopened on my table?(yes) Do I often buy cards for people in advance then later can not find them to send? (yes) In fact yesterday, I found a Christmas card all filled out in an addressed envelope that never got mailed. It even had a stamp on it! Can I find a paper my boss sent me last week?(No) Can I find the entry forms to enter any of the competitions or painting shows? The answer is NO. So here I sit lamenting on my clutter. Every weekend I start fresh in my mind of what I hope to get done... and time passes and the week is here again with work and very little accomplished. Maybe, I am just a bit tired, perhaps.
I am going for a sleep study to find the answers to why, I am so tired and fall asleep during the day.
So I take my art stuff out of the house where I can create and not look at any messes. I can give you or your child, private painting lessons, I have my to go trunk of art stuff perfectly organized, because.... that is what I care about the most. Thru it all, thru chemo and everything the one thing I have is my art and with art, I can put my blinders on and escape into art land and not see the destruction all around me. I can be having a very painful day (as I am a chronic pain sufferer) I start doing art, be it painting, playing my guitar, listening to a band, writing in my journal or publicly humiliating myself on my blog.... Here I am.... as I get better in all the disciplines of art, it seems I get worse in all the duties of "life".
I must say I am very thankful to be here and to all the people that helped me thru, I will always be deeply grateful for your help and love!! I have no great big answers to any of these issues, although it does dawn on me, perhaps all I really need is a good domestic goddess. I have everything else I need! I hope I made you laugh or look at life from another angle with my off beat humor.